Monday, April 19, 2010
Ahhhh...I am blogging again! I never would have believed that I needed this so much, alas there are many things I would have never thought would happen that have. Which as I see it is the true miracle of life...the unexpected joy.
March of Dimes, walk for babies was this past weekend. I had been looking forward to that day for months! It was everything I expected and more. I was my usual OCD self before the walk started. Making sure I had every one's shirts, answering calls to give directions and in general feeling like a chicken with my head cut off, while portraying what I hope was a cool exterior. That's me though, go go go, but I feel as though I am at my best in those situations, like it's the air that fills my lungs! I love helping others and making a difference, it fulfills that need I have to do and be something. It feels good to finally be in a place where everything, as unconventional as it may be, just fits.
Watching all those people come together for a greater cause because in some way my daughter has touched their life, is an incredible feeling. Everyone was smiling, laughing, and some even dancing! ~Shout out to my best girl in the world Jess~ It was amazing to see the different dynamics between everyone, to see what the walk meant to each individual. My hope is that I will continue to be a part of this charity has well as another that has stolen my heart. STOP CMV The CMV Action Network has swept me off my feet! I have to say that even without singing me love songs and buying me flowers I am smitten.
I have had an outpouring of sincere concern and warmth from everyone associate with this network! At the same time I have to admit that after reading these other stories, I feel as though I should be ashamed of myself. I have struggled so much to come to terms with being a parent of a child with special needs. That I have been angry, disheartened, lonely and at times just plain bitchy. When in reality I had so much to be thankful for.....meeting these women has humbled me. It made me realize that Addison is one of the lucky ones and instead of feeling sorry for her or myself, I need to show God just how thankful for his blessings I am. A good friend told me, that it is important to go to bed every night and tell god how sorry you are for any mistakes you made that day and ask for his help to do better tomorrow. What a honor it is to have a father who no matter how much you may curse him, will forgive with no questions asked!
So be prepared world, for it is my full intention to make my mark!!!